by Chris Eaton: Source: JoBlow
Concept art has hit the net people!
Originally posted at The Realmcast
Voltron has been on of those properties that’s been stewing for a big screen film for more than a few years now. I believe that even before Transformers was hitting the big screen, Voltron was kicked around a bit. Legal issues and such arises in the mean time to prevent any sort of big screen adaptation. Michael Bay went off and made Transformers and a billion dollars later, we’re back to Voltron.
Now, as people who read this site know, Voltron is holy to me. Of the major deities in the world it goes, Voltron, Jesus, Buddha. I was raised on Voltron. Voltron was the first images my still forming brain processed at a young age. The adventure of Keith, Lance, Pidge, Hunk and Allura as they piloted the five lions that formed Voltron on the Planet Arus, each week leaving a robot sized mushroom mark on the faces of King Zarkon and Prince Lotor in their plots to take over Arus and kill the Voltron force. Yes, even now, as a full grown adult, seeing the lack luster dialog on the show, Voltron is still very near and dear to me.
Hence every time I see some news coming out about this movie, I want to bash my face into my keyboard, then break the fingers, one by one, of everyone involved in getting this film off the ground. The first attempt a few years ago, had a script written by a dude named Justin Marks. Marks was on a roll of sorts, landing all sorts of geek properties, including SuperMax, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Street Fighter, and of course, he nabbed Voltron. Saying this guy is a hack is an under statement. Don’t believe me, watch Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li. Much like his other scripts, Voltron was a shell of it’s former self. Instead, it is buying into the bullshit that Batman Begins started. Gritty origin story, set to real world standards. The script took place on Earth, the Drule Empire invades, conquers in a day, and leaves the place looking like a wasteland. Allura arrives from Arus in a fucked up looking Blue Lion, brings other “patch work” Lions with her and forms the Voltron team with some survivors. No Haggar, Pidge is some feral fuck child, and I think Hunk was black. Oh, and majority of the film took place between Mexico and New York. Shit, shit, and more shit. I fucking hated whole concept.
Few years later, the project is dropped, Sony nabs it, drops Mark’s script and starts from scratch. Ho-fuck-ray! Things are looking up I said.
Then JoBlow.com got ahold of these pieces of concept art.
This
And this.
Sigh……..
This is what I think.
Voltron is my couch, and this is what they’re doing to it.
What the fuck? Seriously? Are we that fucking retarded as a fucking society. Don’t we clamor for something new? Yet in the end, all we want is familiarity? Michael Bay’s Transformers has ruined big robots for the next decade. Now I didn’t mind the look of the Transformers in the first film, but the second one went overboard with the wacky out there cybernetic designs. Almost every single new transformer that was introduced in the new film was unrecognizable in their robot form due to too much shit going on in the design. That my friends, is what’s going on in these Voltron designs.
Lets look at this. Voltron is not a sentient robot, not in this form. When it’s five lions piloted by humans, they’re mechs, big robot tanks int he form of lions. They form up to make a big humanoid robot that can go toe to toe with other giant robot monsters when they need to. Here, it looks like Voltron can barley stand. Like a toy that’s too top heavy. The look is needlessly complicated, and looks to serve no function other than to cash in on Transformers. The color scheme is all fucked up on the main lion, or the Black Lion, which is mostly yellow for some reason. Also, why would you draw Voltron in some stage of coming undone? Add to the fact that it’s in New York and I’ve got a huge fucking headache. The idea of less is more would work perfectly here. Again, they’re cat tanks, they need to have bulk to them. They’re carrying weapons that shoot out of the sides, they need a physical place to go when not in use.
The second pic, the Red Lion taking on the Robeast, just reaffirms my theory that American graphic artists have no idea how to create a giant monster. Sow what do they do? They play Gears of War or God of War and copy that shit. Hell, the Red Lion looks like it’s fighting the fucking Cloverfield monster, one of the worst monster designs of all time!
The only solace I can take in this is that it’s just concept art so far. Nothing is final, but now I’m worried as hell again that I’m getting a massively shitty Voltron film. I normally don’t go too off the edge with the geek rage on this kind of stuff like other people do. But my inner nerd is screaming at the heavens over why no one gets this shit. It’s not that fucking hard. The producers want to make money? Then don’t make it a super gritty giant robot film. Don’t blow millions of dollars trying to make The Dark Knight of robot movies. The show was more on the fantasy scifi side. Make it more in the vein of Pirates of the Caribbean, safe enough for kids, fun enough for adults, put the proper characters from the show in it, have Voltron fight some big monsters, call it a day and cash out.
Apparently, I’m the only sane one who gets it.